having a really good joke but executing it poorly
vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”
fun date idea: Go down on me while I shop online with ur credit card
I don’t think someone could focus on the internet while I was going down on them.
you over estimate your skill and underestimate the joy of shopping
tumblr post: you are such a uGLY cutie and i wanna HOLD YOUR DUMB HaND and suck your foot… (345,000 notes)
beyonces speaking voice is deep and powerful too like i feel like if she were to call me a mothafucka it would resonate down my entire ancestral line and make my first ever primitive ancestor collaspe and erase my entire family tree